#AtoZChallenge: U is for Underwear

This is the twenty-first of a series of posts that I’m posting during the A to Z Challenge; that’s a blogging challenge where you aim to post a blog post for each letter of the alphabet throughout the month of April (with Sundays off for good behaviour). During my first A to Z Challenge I wrote about infertility, which I’m sort of revisiting during A to Z Challenge 2015.

My theme this year is IVF/ICSI, a process we’re starting at the moment and today it’s U for Underwear.

I think that this is probably one of those things that all women will at some point or another. When I go in for a routine smear test, or for that matter, any kind of test that requires you to remove your underwear I carefully hide my underwear beneath all of my other clothes.

I have no idea why this is, I mean it’s not like the nurse doing the procedure really cares that much about my underwear. I’m sure most of the time she has way more interesting things to be thinking about. Plus, it’s not even like she gets much of an opportunity to see them.

When you’re having IVF treatment you’ll get used to the routine fairly early on. In both of the hospitals I’ve been in for treatment the set up is the same. You’ll have an exam room with the bed, the funky stirrups and scanning gear, and off of that will be a little room with a toilet in it. In that room will be a basket for used linen or gowns and stuff for cleaning up after examinations.

You head into the toilet, strip from the waist down, hide your pants in your jeans, put on the gown/wrap yourself in the fabric you’ve been given, and then head out ready to expose yourself to the waiting nurse. I actually got so conditioned into this routine that I kind of reached the point where whenever I walked into a room with a medical professional I was ready to strip from the waist down and stick my feet in the nearest pair of stirrups.

The point I’m getting at with all this is that you have to be prepared to give up a certain degree of dignity when you go through any kind of fertility treatment. People are going to be prodding and poking you in some places which normally very few people are allowed access to; IVF kind of makes that whole region of your body into a bit of a free for all. And you’re going to get very, very used to taking your underwear off. So you might want to treat yourself to something a little bit special in that department, so that at least when you’re putting them back on after another uncomfortable scan you’ll have something to make you smile.

Now if you’ve got a friend or family member going through treatment I’m not suggesting that you buy them fancy underwear. That would be weird. Unless you’ve got the sort of relationship where you can get away with that sort of thing. But just remember that the person going through treatment will be revealing way more of themselves at appointments than they would usually like to; offer some sympathy, you’ve probably had some equally embarrassing or uncomfortable appointments yourself and may understand more than you think.

Chapter-by-Chapter: The End, Chapter 13.1

Are you looking for today’s A to Z Challenge post? It’s here.

And here we are! We have finally reached the end of The End. It’s Chapter Thirteen of the final book of A Series of Unfortunate Events and it’s a long one. I’m not kidding, as far as chapters go this one chapter is about half as long as the first book! For that reason I’ve divided it in two because no one really wants to read a blog post which is almost 2,500 words long. ;-)

In the last chapter we learned just what the Baudelaires needed to eat in order to cure themselves of the Medusoid Mycelium. Unfortunately they were very weak as the fungus took a greater hold over them and didn’t have the energy to get the apple that would cure them. Luckily Ink showed up with one for them and hopefully in this chapter we’ll see them eat it.

What Happens?

The apple works and the Baudelaires are cured so they rush across to the coastal shelf with all the apples they can carry. The islanders are making their escape on the outrigger but they won’t listen to the Baudelaires and try eating the apples. The children are forced to watch them go, knowing that unless they eat an apple they won’t make it to the horseradish factory on Lousy Lane.

Thoughts as I read:

The chapter image kicking off our final chapter shows ten apples floating in some water. I doubt that this means that they’ll be bobbing for apples in this chapter. I’ll guess that the Baudelaires will be taking as many apples as they can carry back to the beach but the coastal shelf will be floating soon and I’m going to hazard a guess that this is where the water’s come from. We’ll find out soon.

The Baudelaires take a bite of the apple and find that it does taste bitter, but they don’t care because they know that this will fix them. It’s pretty fast acting and before too long it’s worked its magic and the children are completely back to normal. They each take another apple to make sure that they’ve taken a full dose of the medicine, then they start gathering apples to take back for everyone else. They’d better hurry considering how close to death they were when they got their apple.

Violet’s just remembered Kit Snicket again and decides to use the periscope to check the flooding situation on the coastal shelf. Sunny says ‘Phearst’ meaning ‘We should rescue her promptly’, especially as there’s no knowing whether or not the fungus has affected her or the baby. But first they need to cure all the islanders because they have enough blood on their hands and they don’t want any more.

But Violet’s made a discovery. The colonists are out on the coastal shelf with the outrigger. It looks like they’re getting ready to leave. This is clearly a very bad thing.

Snicket breaks off for a moment to make sure that we’re all clear about what ‘the end’ actually means. It turns out that it’s not actually the end of the Baudelaires’ story, just because it’s called The End and all. The story began long before the first book but I won’t go into it here because it runs on for almost three pages. Snicket mentions the phrase ‘in media res’ which he mentions means ‘in the middle of a narrative’ and that this is what the Baudelaires’ story is; it’s just the middle part of a much bigger story.

Eventually one must face that the end is near, and the end of The End is quite near indeed, so if I were you I would not read the end of The End, as it contains the end of a notorious villain but also the end of a brave and noble sibling, and the end of the colonists’ stay on the island, as they sail off the end of the coastal shelf. The end of The End contains all these ends, and that does not depend on how you look at it, so it might be best for you to stop looking at The End before the end of The End arrives, and to stop reading The End before you read the end, as the stories that end in The End that began in The Bad Beginning are beginning to end now.

Did you get all that?

While we’ve been trying to get our heads around all of this the Baudelaires have been gathering apples and trying to cross the partially flooded coastal shelf. When they called out to the colonists that they have the cure to the poison, Kit called back that she thought she was going into labour. Well, that’s just what they need right now, isn’t it?

Kit, it appears, has tried to tell the islanders how to cure the fungus but they’ve decided to take their chances on the outrigger instead. The colonists aren’t interested in the Baudelaires since they were the ones who got them into the situation, after all they brought Olaf and the Medusoid Mycelium to the island with them. This is rather stretching things slightly, but the colonists are all doped up on coconut cordial so I don’t think they’re thinking too straight.

Ishmael’s made the decision to leave and not to listen to a thing the Baudelaires say. Since he’s blamed all the problems of the island on them he can’t go having them showing up now and solving them all. Sunny pleads with him ‘In media res!’ which Violet translates as ‘The Medusoid Mycelium was around before we were born, and our parents prepared for its arrival by adding horseradish to the roots of the apple tree.’

Klaus meanwhile is begging Ishmael to tell the colonists the whole story but Ishmael doesn’t want to do that. It’s better that they die rather than learn the truth and cause another schism. Ishmael’s planning on travelling to the horseradish factory on Lousy Lane, despite what the Baudelaires are trying to tell them about the speed at which the Medusoid Mycelium acts. Ishmael seems to be less affected by the fungus than the other islanders are, I’m guessing perhaps because of the fact that he’s been eating the apples and has the cure already in his system. Otherwise, plot hole!

The children don’t want to see their friend Friday die, so Sunny tries to get her to take an apple. Perhaps if the islanders see one of them feeling better after eating an apple, the rest will want to try one as well. Friday almost takes it as well, but her mother pulls her back. Then Ishmael goes one step further and grabs the stockpot full of apples. And that’s how the apples come to be floating in the water.

And Sunny figures out why Ishmael is doing okay. I was right.

Just like that the outrigger is off and the children are torn; do they stay and help Kit have her baby, or do they go after the outrigger to save the colonists, or do they split up? Klaus makes the decision to stay because Kit needs them and the islanders have made their decision… except they haven’t really, Ishmael made the decision and then the islanders were drugged and bullied into doing what he wanted.

Sunny is apparently of a similar mind as me, she says ‘Kontiki’ meaning ‘There’s no way they’ll survive the journey’. Despite her willingness to kill Olaf, she’s none too pleased at the prospect of all those people dying out at sea. Luckily the Incredibly Deadly Viper is on her side though, bringing the people on the outrigger and apple which will be able to see them through the journey (as long as they take it in turns to have bites of the apple until they get to the horseradish factory). Of course we’ll never know whether this is what they actually do. Perhaps they didn’t survive, but Snicket’s the sort of person who would probably tell us if they didn’t, so let’s just pretend that they did.

And that’s where we’ll leave things for today. Check back tomorrow morning for the final bit of this chapter.

Wreck This Journal: Poke Holes In This Page

Are you visiting through the A to Z Challenge? Click here to see today’s post.

This is a page that I’ve not really done much with yet, aside from what the page actually instructs you to do. The page instruction just says POKE HOLES IN THIS PAGE USING A PENCIL. I spent a while trying to come up with a way to do that in an interesting way and I kind of drew a blank.

Then one night I was sitting in bed, flipping through some of the pages that I’d not had a go at yet and with a pack of colouring pens beside me, when I happened across this one. I didn’t really think too much about it and then decided to colour in the circles with random colours.

The randomness is kind of important here because normally I’d try to do some sort of pattern, but I literally just grabbed any old pens that came to hand. Then while the paper was still slightly damp from them I punched holes using a mechanical pencil.

Taken in bed right after I'd finished punching holes in things with a pencil.

It looked pretty cool when it was first done because I punched the holes through from the wrong side, so the page was raised in odd places when you looked at it.

Since then I’ve closed the book and they’ve gotten flattened down so it doesn’t look as good as it did. I also kind of want to do more to this page, but I’m not sure what yet. I’m thinking of maybe colouring it all in black so the coloured circles stand out more and then maybe punching through the holes again to open them up more.

How it's looking now, after the poked bits got squashed.

You might see this one again in the future…

#AtoZChallenge: T is for Travel

This is the twentieth of a series of posts that I’m posting during the A to Z Challenge; that’s a blogging challenge where you aim to post a blog post for each letter of the alphabet throughout the month of April (with Sundays off for good behaviour). During my first A to Z Challenge I wrote about infertility, which I’m sort of revisiting during A to Z Challenge 2015.

My theme this year is IVF/ICSI, a process we’re starting at the moment and today it’s T for Travel.

Unless you’re really lucky and live right next door to the clinic or hospital where you are receiving IVF treatment, there’s going to be a fair bit of traveling in your future. I guess I’m probably an extreme case when it comes to travelling to hospital appointments, since I live on a small Scottish island and therefore my journey to hospital takes upwards of two and a half hours (each way) because there’s a boat involved.

If you do have the option of choosing where you receive treatment, getting to the hospital is an important factor to consider. When we decided to try private treatment two years ago, a major factor in picking the Nuffield (alongside success rates, the staff, the facilities and the information they were able to give us during an open day we attended) was the ease of access in getting to the place.

I know that there was a fertility clinic in Ayr we could have used but that would be a two hour journey on the bus, whereas the trains were far more direct for the Glasgow one. Towards the end of your treatment, you’re probably going to be uncomfortable and you might be dealing with side effects that make long journeys difficult, so it’s something to be aware of.

In fact, there can be discomfort in travelling even at the very beginning of treatment. During our cancelled cycle I had to have an injection right in the bum cheek, which meant that I really did not appreciate the bumpy taxi ride back to the train station!

We will take the car for some parts of the treatment (the cost of taking a car off of the island can be somewhat prohibitive). Especially towards the end of the ‘stimulation’ (growing the follicles) phase, when walking and sitting and just being a normal person can be uncomfortable. Those’ll definitely be car trips. As will any appointments that require sedation.

Obviously, if you’ve got a car and you don’t live or work far from your clinic you’ll be able to drive yourself for much of the process. With the exception of any appointments like egg collection when you’ll be knocked out and would need someone else to drive you home.

If you’ve got a friend or family member having treatment be aware that they will have considered many factors if they’ve been able to choose their clinic; getting there will probably be one of the things that helped them decide (though it’s unlikely to have been the only factor), it’s really not worth asking them why they couldn’t pick somewhere closer if it seems like they’ve got a long way to travel for each appointment. And if you’ve got a car and they don’t, maybe offer to run them to an appointment or two. They might not take you up on the offer, but it’ll show them you’re thinking of them.

Wordless Wednesday: Bright

Psst! Today's A to Z Challenge post is here!

#AtoZChallenge: S is for So Hard (Dixie Chicks)

This is the nineteenth of a series of posts that I’m posting during the A to Z Challenge; that’s a blogging challenge where you aim to post a blog post for each letter of the alphabet throughout the month of April (with Sundays off for good behaviour). During my first A to Z Challenge I wrote about infertility, which I’m sort of revisiting during A to Z Challenge 2015.

My theme this year is IVF/ICSI, a process we’re starting at the moment and today it’s S for So Hard (Dixie Chicks).

We’re halfway through the challenge now so I thought I would share a few songs to make a slight change from the posts I’ve done so far during the month.

I’ve always enjoyed listening to music and I sometimes just plug into my mp3 player and see what crops up. I call it ‘mp3 divining’ because quite often I can make some emotional connection to whatever it plays and it often fits my mood. Sometimes, if I’m in a bad mood it’ll calm me down, or it’ll give me lots of songs full of energy to justify my feelings at that moment. Obviously I can make any song fit, if I want it to.

But then there are some that fit certain situations a lot more than others.

So Hard by the Dixie Chicks is one of those. I have a clear memory of way back when we were naively having our first round of investigative tests (all those years ago back in 2011), driving home with a Dixie Chicks CD in the car. And it suddenly hit me; this is a song about infertility.

Here we are all those years later and it’s still one of those songs that hits me in the chest every time I hear it. Sometimes it makes me tear up a little, depending on the kind of day I’m having (and how many Facebook pregnancy announcements I’ve seen that day). I get conflicting emotions from this song, depending on the day.

But it also has the effect of making me feel less alone as well.

Other people go through this as well, and they can be famous people (two of the members of the Dixie Chicks had to have fertility treatment to have their families) as well. It’s something that hits people from all walks of life.

If you're going through treatment, you'll find little things that help you cope with the day to day aspects of the process. Music might be one of them. You might find that your other hobbies help you get through it as well. I read a lot during our treatment, though for that reason Watership Down will always be the book I was reading when our cycle was cancelled.

When you're with a friend or family member who is having treatment, don't be alarmed if there are certain songs that seem to get to them. It might be a song they hear on the radio that has a deeper meaning to them, a part of a film that they find inexplicably upsetting, a place they no longer wish to visit. They'll be a reason for that somewhere and trust that if and when they're ready, they'll share it with you.

Chapter-by-Chapter: The End, Chapter 12

Visiting through the A to Z Challenge? Click here to read today’s post.

We’re so close to the end of this book now. There’s really not much further to go and then it finally will be The End of A Series of Unfortunate Events.

In the last chapter we saw the latest schism hit the island, culminating in Ishmael shooting Count Olaf right in the diving helmet (and that’s not a euphemism). This has released deadly fungus spores into the area so they’re probably all going to die.

What Happens?

The children realise that they need to find horseradish so leave the colonists and head to the arboretum. They go into the kitchen in Ishmael’s secret room but can’t find horseradish or any other substitute. Knowing that the end is near, they decide to read A Series of Unfortunate Events in the hope that there will be something useful in the pages written by their parents. Sure enough, there is, but by this point the fungus has progressed too far and the children are unable to move. Luckily, at that moment, someone shows up who can help.

Thoughts as I read:

Remember how the Ishmael led the children away from the book in his hidey-hole because the Baudelaire parents wouldn’t want them to read it? Well, clearly the children decided that this was something that they should read, because the picture that opens this chapter shows the three children studying a massive book with A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS on the cover. I’m guessing that this means we’ll be returning to the arboretum in this chapter.

Snicket opens this chapter in his usual philosophical way, this time talking about how people can get used to being happy but they don’t get used to the feeling of despair. In fact, the more despair you encounter, the harder and harder it is to deal with. I’d say this is a fairly accurate statement. This is relevant because the Baudelaires have had many reasons to feel despair in the past, but this moment is probably at the pinnacle of despair.

Everyone starts wondering what’s going on; Friday heard the sound of breaking glass, Erewhon can feel something in her throat, and Finn is more concerned with Ishmael’s ability to stand on his own two feet. Olaf’s not quite dead yet though and so he takes the opportunity to reveal his final gift to the island as well as to accuse Ishmael of causing all their deaths. Way to go, Ish!

This is clearly very bad news for everyone. Especially the orphans as Olaf is pointing the finger of blame squarely in their direction. Of all the secrets that they’ve been keeping on the island, this is one of the biggest ones, though some of the islanders are still hung up on the fact that Ishmael’s feet are perfectly fine. Priorities people!

Again fingers are being pointed in all direction, though Professor Fletcher is perhaps the most diplomatic:

“It depends on how you look at it,” Professor Fletcher said. “In my opinion, all of us are the root of the trouble. If we hadn’t put Count Olaf in the cage, he never would have threatened us!”

It doesn’t stop them and this continues for almost a whole page until Violet points out that they’ve all been poisoned. They’re all going to be dead in an hour unless they can find something to cure it.

The news that the deadly fungus is, y’know, deadly, is kind of shock to most of the islanders who just now begin to panic. They’d thought it was a forbidden food or something. Ishmael’s still trying to be in charge, recommending their take their nice calming coconut cordial, despite this having absolutely no effect on the Medusoid Mycelium.

When everyone wants to just sit around and talk about the problem instead of getting a move on and actually dealing with it, Sunny says ‘Trahison des clercs!’ which is translated as “You’re forgetting about the quick acting poison in the fungus!” Violet then draws attention to the fact that the solution must be in the hidey-hole in the arboretum. Surely there must be something in one of those books that will help them out. Sunny points out that Ishmael has a kitchen so there might just be horseradish. Sunny would be very disappointed if she visiting our kitchen, I don’t think we’ve ever had horseradish!

Ishmael immediately disputes this, claiming that this is a trick by the Baudelaires. Because people who have less than an hour to live frequently decide to play pranks on other people. Sunny tells him ‘Razoo’ meaning ‘You’re the one not to be trusted.’ They do try to question Ishmael to find out why he’s lying to everyone and trying to get them drunk, but he seems to think that his situation is different to everyone else’s. That’s it, I’ve changed my mind about him again. He’s not a maybe good guy, he’s definitely a bad guy!

Sunny suggests ‘Hightail it’ to her siblings, meaning ‘We’d better hurry’ and the three Baudelaires head out across the island towards the arboretum and into the underground room. But there’s no horseradish in the kitchen there:

The children found many of their favourite spices, including sage, oregano, and paprika, which was available in a number of varieties organised according to their level of smokiness. They found some of their least favourite spices, including dried parsley, which scarcely tastes like anything, and garlic salt, which forces the taste of everything else to flee. They found spices they associated with certain dishes, such as turmeric, which their father used to use while making curried peanut soup, and nutmeg, which their mother used to mix into gingerbread, and they found spices they did not associate with anything, such as marjoram, which everyone owns but scarcely anyone uses, and powdered lemon peel, which should only be used in emergencies, such as when fresh lemons have become extinct.

I know it’s long (and I didn’t even copy out the last bit), but I thought it all deserved to be shared.

Violet remembers that it doesn’t need to be actual horseradish as they used wasabi last time. Sunny says ‘Or Eutrema’ to this, and she’s the expert after all. She also reminds them that their parents once lived on the island and surely they would’ve thought to hide horseradish somewhere because they wanted to link the island with Anwhistle Aquatics.

So it’s time to figure out how to search the entire arboretum without actually searching the entire arboretum. Violet ties up her hair and they get to work. Klaus wonders if it might have been hidden in one of the jars belonging to another spice so questions Sunny about the bitterest spices, she replies ‘Cloves… Cardamom, arrowroot, wormwood’. This last reminds Klaus that Kit mentioned drinking tea as bitter as wormwood so maybe very strong tea will save them… except there’s no wormwood here. Back to the drawing board!

Violet takes some time out to bemoan the lack of information passed on by their parents. This is definitely something that they should wonder about, but maybe this isn’t the best time to do it. Luckily this prompts Klaus to check the A Series of Unfortunate Events book to see if Mr and Mrs Baudelaire wrote something there that can help them. The problem here is that they’ve got way less than an hour now and that book is pretty big.

“If we fail,” Sunny said, her voice heavy with fungus, “at least we die reading together.”

Aww, poor Sunny. But that’s kind of how the Baudelaires have always been. If this is the worst that can happen to them, at least they will be together. And they’ll be looking at what has been written and recorded by their parents, so in a way they’ll be all together as a family.

The children don’t have much time to read so they skim the pages, looking out for any words that might be useful to them:

As you know if you’ve ever skimmed a book, you end up getting a strange view of the story, with just glimpses here and there of what is going on, and some authors insert confusing sentences in the middle of a book just to confuse anyone who might be skimming. Three very short men were carrying a large, flat piece of wood, painted to look like a living room.

That last bit would be something that Snicket has popped in just in case you’re skim reading, hehe.

Time is ticking on and the fungus is growing larger and larger inside the children when Klaus suddenly spots a reference to horseradish. It would appear that Mr and Mrs Baudelaire did stockpile the stuff on the island:

“‘We’re attempting a botanical hybrid through the tuberous canopy, which should bring safety to fruition despite its dangers to our associates in utero. Of course, in case we are banished, Beatrice is hiding a small amount in a vess-’”

Why can’t they just write is out in a more easily understood way. Clearly they’re trying to blend the horseradish into something else to keep them all safe. Whatever it is appears to be dangerous to unborn children and presumably that’s what was in the sugar bowl everyone was hunting for.

Klaus figures out that the ‘tuberous canopy’ was the roots of the big tree that they’re currently sitting under. And Sunny figures out the final link in the chain. The bitter apples will save them. Violet says that if they eat the bitter apples it’ll dilute the fungus which Sunny confirms by saying ‘Gentreefive’.

Unfortunately it’s taken them so long to figure this out that they’re all very weak. They’re not sure they’ll be able to make it and Sunny asks ‘Kikbucit?’ It’s really not looking good for them at all. Violet is determined though, even though the Baudelaire parents didn’t know it at the time, they were saving their children’s lives all those years ago. Klaus isn’t so sure, he thinks it’s the end.

Sunny says ‘Turmurchap’ but we don’t get to learn what this means because they’re distracted by a strange hissing sound. And what happens next is somewhat biblical. The Incredibly Deadly Viper slithers down into the hidden room and offers the children an apple.

Hopefully this ends better for the Baudelaires than it did for Adam and Eve.