Saturday, 15 August 2015

Film Review: The Two Towers, Part 4

I nearly didn't get to watch any of The Lord of the Rings this week since we ended up having an impromptu cinema trip to see Inside Out. I should also add that it's very confusing watching The Two Towers when you've just started reading The Fellowship of the Ring.


In last week's installment we saw Theoden looking quite a bit younger and Frodo ran into someone who wasn't too friendly. This week Rohan's being evacuated, Aragorn takes a tumble, and Frodo and Sam learn about Boromir's death.

172. Straight into the second half of The Two Towers. The people of Rohan are leaving for Helm's Deep while Gimli gives Éowyn a lesson in gender differences between male and female Dwarves; it's tricky business since they both have beards.

173. Théoden ships Aragorn and Éowyn as well. I'm so not alone.

174. Éowyn is definitely my favourite female character in this film. I'd say my level of cookery skills is probably Éowyn level.


175. Random fact: Aragorn is really, really old. Older than Théoden. He's eighty-seven and looking damn good for his age!

176. It's gotta be tough to be seeing an Elf chic seeing as she can visit you in your dreams. I mean, it'd be handy at times, but might be a bit of a buzz kill when you're fantasising about the hot Rohan girl and your Elven girlfriend shows up halfway through.

177. Arwen's dress is kind of revealing.


178. Aragorn has a bit of an ear fetish.

179. We're getting a bit of a recap of what's going on with Arwen, Elrond and the rest of the romance in this story. Daddy disapproves so Aragorn tried to end it.

180. Oh, hello Legolas. Wondered where you'd got to.

181. And they're about to be ambushed by Wargs. Lucky Legolas was there to finish off the second one.

182. Oh look, there's more of them.

183. Théoden's put Eowyn in her place. She's a woman so she's not allowed to fight. But first a meaningful look between her and Aragorn.

184. And now for some crazy Elven acrobatics.


185. Dwarf down! Dwarf down!

186. I do love the competition between Legolas and Gimli.

187. There's more fighting. There's really not much else I can say about this.

188. Then Aragorn gets himself stuck on a Warg that falls off a cliff. That totally doesn't happen in the book.

189. Great, you've lost the King of Gondor!


190. It's really gross how the Orcs have bits of metal holding their faces together. I'm not entirely sure how that even works.

191. Legolas is having feelings right now.

192. The bit of mountain Helm's Deep is built into looks an awful lot like the Lonely Mountain where the Dwarves go in The Hobbit.

193. Aww, Éothain and Freya are reunited with their mum. At least they've got a happy ending. For now.

194. Gimli gets to break the news about Aragorn to Éowyn. She takes it about as well as is to be expected.

195. Oh look, rattles!


196. I love Saruman's reaction to Wormtongue leaning over the explosive with his candle. Saruman's basically invented modern warfare.

197. "There will be no dawn for Men" ooh, so sinister.

198. Oh, Merry and Pippin, I'd forgotten about you guys. They've spotted the smoke from Isengard as well as the MASSIVE army heading out.

199. And there's Aragorn, just out for a drift down a river.

200. Don't you hate it when you dream you're kissing someone really hot, then wake up and discover it's your horse.


201. That's what Tara does to me if she wants to go out and doesn't think I'm getting up quick enough.

202. I'm guessing that the fact Arwen speaks to her father in Common Speech is a sign that she's rebelling against the Elvish ways. Or maybe I'm reading too much into these things.

203. You'd think Elrond could just leave a boat for Arwen so she can have her time with Aragorn and then head to Valinor when he's died. Yeah, I know, it kind of defeats the whole 'giving it all up for love' message of this story.


204. So she's off. Elves really do not travel in the most practical way, do they?

205. Time for a little mindmeld moment between Elrond and the mother-in-law. I suppose you have to use what you can when you've not got phone lines. This is also useful for people who haven't read the books and need to know what the deal is with Faramir and Gondor.

206. Galadriel's kind of just given away the ending for us all as well.

207. The Gondorian Rangers take a break from rangering to play that old favourite party game, Pass the Hobbit.

208. Who made that map? It's Dagorlad, not Dagorland.

209. Frodo and Sam just seem so small when they're surrounded by Men in that cave.


210. "Your bodyguard?" "His gardener." Hehe.

211. Time to get Frodo up to speed on what's been going on with his friends since he left. Namely that Boromir is dead. I always forget that Frodo doesn't know what we know.

212. I like that they included the vision of Boromir in the boat. I like that bit in the book.

213. Clearly this next bit is a flashback because Boromir is alive again. Turns out he was quite good at fighting battles and stuff, seeing as he and his guys reclaimed Osgiliath.

214. And there's Walter from Fringe. I mean, Denethor. He's a bit of a jerk to his younger son. Correction, he's a lot of a jerk to his younger son!


215. If he hated Faramir so much, he should've sent him to Rivendell. Though, then again, if Boromir had run into Frodo when Faramir did then the Ring would've been well and truly doomed. Thinking about these things make my head hurt.

216. Osgiliath looks a bit like Dale in The Hobbit.

217. Uh, Frodo, you know that companion you claimed not to have. Well, he's found his way to the Rangers' hidden pool. Do you want to rethink your answer to Faramir's earlier question?

218. I love Sméagol's little song. I don't like the whacking the fish into the rock so much though.

219. I know this is really weird, and cute isn't really a word you'd associate with Gollum, but the way he carries the fish in his mouth as he leaves the pool is kind of cute.


220. The whole Gollum/Sméagol conversation thing is done really well here as well. I especially like the way he strokes his shoulder. Definitely not cute now.

221. Frodo's realising a lot of things right now. Like the fact that he's losing the fight against the Ring. This can only end badly, especially considering what Galadriel said earlier.

222. You could read all sorts of sexual subtext into Faramir poking at the Ring with his sword. I'm not going to say anything about that though.

223. Sam asks Faramir to help him. Faramir decides not to.

224. Oh dear. That's a very big army heading towards Helm's Deep. Thankfully the sight of it kind of wakes Aragorn up and he heads off to Helm's Deep ahead of them. Nothing quite like an advance warning.

225. I love Gimli's reaction to seeing Aragorn. And Legolas: 'You're late. You look terrible.' Only true friends could react to someone not being dead like that.



226. I also love the shot of Aragorn pushing open the doors to the hall, though he's pretty drippy. I hope he's just had a wash before seeing the king and isn't just really gross and sweaty.

And that seems like as good a place as any to end this post this week. We can all just sit and dribble over Aragorn until next week when the battle of Helm's Deep gets properly underway, while Merry and Pippin get to go to an Ent Moot.

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