Saturday, 6 February 2016

Film Review: The Desolation of Smaug, Part 3

Time for another instalment of The Desolation of Smaug.

Last week we saw all the spiders, the Dwarves were captured by Thranduil and his folk and Bilbo smuggled them all out in barrels. Now it's time to catch up with Gandalf and head off to visit Laketown.

100. Meanwhile, Gandalf is trekking up the High Fells.

101. Health and Safety would have something to say about that staircase.

102. And that tunnel.

103. "Oh it's you!" Hi Radagast.

104. "This is not a nice place to meet." Hehe.

105. He was one of NINE. Oh, I wonder who they could be...

106. I love how this ties things so neatly into The Lord of the Rings. I know it's hinted in the book that the Necromancer is Sauron, but they spell it out a lot more obviously here.

107. And Radagast speaks the truth. I like how he's like, Gandalf, we need you.

108. Soggy Dwarves. The special features bit on this is hilarious. I think their fat/muscle suits swelled up with water and they kept getting stuck in the barrels.

109. Look out! There's a Bard about.

110. I love that Dwalin is all tough but when the youngest member of the company is in danger, he just steps right in front of the arrow with just a bit of tree to protect himself.

111. Balin was doing well at the whole 'connecting with the human' thing, until he mentioned the guy's dead wife.

112. Looks like they've found a ride into town anyway.

113. Lee Pace does a really good Thranduil. He's all distant and monotone. I can believe he's Legolas's dad.

114. Tauriel is quick with her blade.

115. And that Orc is not pretty, especially when he does that hissy thing.

116. "I do not care about one dead Dwarf." Yeah, but Tauriel does.

117. The Orc's eyes are unnaturally small. I think that's one of the things that makes him look so weird.

118. "You promised to set him free." "And I did, I freed his miserable head from his shoulders."

119. Thranduil's plan is basically to close the doors and hope no one notices that they're there. It shows how the events of this film change him that he agrees to send Legolas to the Council of Elrond.

120. Uh oh. Tauriel's out after curfew.

121. The 'Dwarf blood' bit is a nice little nod to the bit in Lord of the Rings where Gimli tastes the blood on the leaf and spits 'Orc blood'. These guys should really stop putting random blood in their mouths.

122. I feel like they could have done something before now to show Gloin having money to spare to explain why Thorin asks him for the extra money here.

123. Hehe, Bilbo moving away from the knothole in case they can see him.

124. You should really watch the featurette on filming this bit. Those weren't fake fish they were dumping on the Dwarves.

125. I love Laketown. It just looks perfect. Not quite what I was imagining but it makes perfect sense.

126. Alfrid gets mixed responses online, but I think he serves an important role in this film. He's horrible but he's a great character.

127. You should see the audition tape where he plays the character like a slimy used car salesman.

128. I think those dogs belong to Peter Jackson. He almost had a cameo here, but it got cut.

129. I'm not easily disgusted, but Alfrid throwing the contents of the chamber pot out the window and getting it everywhere is really gross.

130. "There's even talk of an election." "An election? That's absurd. I won't stand for it." "I don't think they'll ask you". Love it.

131. "Bollocks!"

132. Okay, this bit is also really gross. I love Stephen Fry but he's just horrible in this. Which is totally the point.

133. I've never really thought about it before, but this is Bilbo's first encounter with Men. He spends way more time in the company of Dwarves, Wizards and Elves.

134. "What do you know about my wife?" "I know her as well as any man in this town." This film has so many little quotable lines.

135. And Bard's daughters are played by James Nesbitt's daughters. I love how much of a family affair these films are.

136. I love the Dwarf theme.

137. Tilda makes me smile. "Will they bring us luck?"

138. Recap of the beginning of the last film, with a few more shots of people trying to attack the dragon.

139. And a bonus show of Luke Evans made up to look like Bard's ancestor, Girion.

140. They need to get to the mountain very soon or the quest is a waste. Or they'll just have to wait for another year.

141. I'm with Balin. Why the insistence on 'proper' weapons?

142. Oh dear. Kili isn't feeling too hot.

143. Apparently drawing bows on each other is how Tauriel and Legolas greet each other.

144. Sheesh, if Thranduil's treatment of Tauriel is 'favouring' her, I'd hate to see how he'd treat someone he didn't like!

145. Tauriel speaks the truth. It's basically her we have to thank for Legolas being able to head off and join the Fellowship.

146. I love the prophecy rhyme.

147. Who needs a ladder when you've got a bunch of Dwarves to climb?

148. How many weapons do they need? They're not planning on travelling light apparently.

149. Nicely done, Kili.

150. It's snowing!

151. Thorin has got the hang of the politician's speech.

152. Bard has not.

153. They've never seen a Hobbit before. I'm not sure he's the most reliable one to vouch for Thorin.

154. They're all quick enough to complain about Girion failing to kill the dragon, but I didn't see anyone else up there trying to get Smaug.

155. "I say unto you WELCOME!" to another episode of QI.

156. Oh dear. Kili's being grounded.

157. I love those instruments.

158. Did no one notice that Bofur was missing?

159. "The entire town twittering your name." Hehe, nice little nod to Fry's presence on Twitter there.

160. Hehe, I love the Master's response to hearing Kili's sick.

161. The overlook looks suspiciously like the bit of Mordor overlooking the Black Gates.

And we'll leave things there for now. Next week, Bilbo finds the door, figures out how to open it and gets sent inside for his troubles.

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