Saturday, 26 March 2016

Film Review: The Battle of the Five Armies, Part 2

Last week we started watching The Battle of the Five Armies, the final film in the Hobbit trilogy. I've been planning on spending this Easter weekend finally watching some of the special features on these blu-rays, since I've had this one since Christmas and still haven't even dipped my toe in the water. I think it's because I don't want the journey to Middle-earth to be over!

Last week was pretty much all about the whole of Laketown being taken out by a dragon, with a bit of a reunion amongst the Dwarves. Now we'll catch up with Gandalf and see just what the Laketowners are up to now.

54. And back to Gandalf.

55. He seems to be delirious.

56. Or he's communicating with Radagast through magical means. On or the other.

57. Some ugly bugger's shown up to harass Gandalf into giving up his Elven ring.

58. Isn't that typical? You start harassing someone for one Elven ring and then three show up at once?

59. My personal headcanon for these films is that when Galadriel was a rebellious young Elf she and Gandalf had a fling and this bit of the film only solidifies that suspicion.

60. Man, Galadriel is strong.

61. I love that we get to see Galadriel doing battle at Dol Guldor because in the book it kind of gets glossed over. I like video evidence of how awesome she is.

62. "I am not alone!" Yeah, I've brought my son-in-law and an old guy with me.

63. To be fair, the old guy is a pretty good fighter. Look at Sauruman go!

64. I wonder how Celeborn feels about Galadriel and Gandalf. I bet in The Fellowship of the Ring he was secretly glad that Gandalf fell in Moria. Brings a whole new meaning to the line 'Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desired to speak with him.' doesn't it?

65. And now Gandalf's basically asking Galadriel to run away with him. Or something.

66. Looks like the guys have taken care of the Nine. Now it's just Sauron to deal with.

67. Looks like a job for Samara!Galadriel. Seriously, doesn't she look like something out of The Ring here.

68. This flashing Sauron thing is kind of seizure inducing.

69. Well done Galadriel, you've just sent Sauron into Mordor. Perfect place for him to build up a stronghold to prepare to for a really big battle.

70. Oh dear. Leaving Sauron to Saruman may be a bit of a mistake.

71. Gandalf's not about to let Radagast use his strange medicine to nurse him back to health.

72. And now comes the moment I've been waiting for since the first film; Radagast gives Gandalf his staff (warning him 'it can be a bit dicky sometimes, you have to twiddle the top'), hehe.

73. Back to Erebor and Balin, Dwalin and Bilbo are trying to talk Thorin down. Thorin's having a temper tantrum about the lack of Arkenstone in his possession.

74. Poor Balin. I just want to give him a hug. Especially because I know what's going to happen to him between now and The Fellowship of the Ring.

75. Bilbo asks Balin what would happen if they let Thorin have the Arkenstone. I love the way he does it like he's not asking for him, oh no, it's for a friend, called uh, Blilblo.

76. Thorin is so suspicious that he practically does a pat down search on Bilbo, only to discover that Bilbo was looking at an acorn from Beorn's garden.

77. News has reached them that the Laketowners are approaching.

78. And look, there they are, in Dale. Apparently this is where they will live now. It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but there are walls and some of the buildings have roofs so it's better than Laketown which has neither roofs, walls or floors. And a dead dragon on top of it.

79. Back in Erebor, the Dwarves are putting up defences.

80. Kili tries sticking up for the Laketowners. He's sticking up for them, but not so much that he's going to stand up against Thorin.

81. Gandalf's off riding towards Erebor.

82. Bard's doing a pretty good job of keeping everyone organised but he did make the mistake of putting Alfrid on watch duty so no one actually saw the host of Elves arriving.

83. There are a lot of Elves in Dale now.

84. Here's Thranduil. It looks like he's being noble and helpful, but he's not really. It's basically just so he can further his own ends and get his jewels back.

85. And now it looks like there's going to be a battle. Thranduil's determined to get his shinies back, any way possible.

86. They've obviously decided that the best person to send to discuss the situation with Thorin is Bard. Sensible move, I'm not sure Thranduil and Bard would be able to have a civil conversation.

87. I remember how cool this bit looked in 3D in the cinema, looking down the tunnel to talk to one another. It actually felt like we were looking down a long tunnel.

88. Bard has a very persuasive argument. Thorin's pretty much just going back on the agreement though and he's definitely beyond reason now.

89. Needless to say, the conversation does not end well.

90. Bilbo helpfully points out that Thorin's plan has a slight flaw, considering there are a lot of Elves and fishermen basically sitting on their doorstep and only a handful of people in the mountain defending it.

91. Luckily Thorin has a trick up his sleeve.

92. I'm kind of sad that the Dwarves are destroying all the pretty outside carvings and decorations to build up their defenses.

93. I like the parallel of the Laketowners and the Dwarves preparing themselves for war. Balin does not look thrilled at the prospect.

94. Neither is Bilbo.

95. Thorin has a gift for Bilbo. I have a funny feeling we'll be seeing that shirt again some time in the future.

96. It would appear that Thorin has decided that Bilbo is the only trustworthy one in the group. Ironic considering that Bilbo is actually the one who has taken the Arkenstone.

97. Thorin keeps on doing this weird thing where he talks in a low slow voice. Apparently this is a symptom of dragon sickness because he sounds a little like Smaug when he does it.

98. Let's take a moment to catch up with Legolas and Tauriel.

99. If Legolas is trying to win Tauriel over to his side, he's going about it the wrong way. He's brought her to Gundabad to tell her about how his mum ended up dying there. I guess he's going for the sympathy vote.

Next week, Alfrid will have a new nickname for Gandalf while Bilbo and Thorin have a bit of a falling out.

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