Friday 3 April 2015

#AtoZChallenge: C is for Confusion

This is the third of a series of posts that I’m posting during the A to Z Challenge; that’s a blogging challenge where you aim to post a blog post for each letter of the alphabet throughout the month of April (with Sundays off for good behaviour). During my first A to Z Challenge I wrote about infertility, which I’m sort of revisiting during A to Z Challenge 2015.

My theme this year is IVF/ICSI, a process we’re starting at the moment and today it’s C for Confusion.


There is a lot of confusion surrounding infertility and the process of trying to get pregnant when you need a bit of extra help. It’s to be expected, especially with Doctor Google being just a few clicks away, full of helpful and often conflicting advice. The internet is full of blogs, just like this one, telling you things you should and shouldn’t do, random technical terms, explanations of processes and plenty of other titbits which are guaranteed to make your head feel all explodey.

It’s also a little disconcerting that you can expect to run into a little bit of confusion when you’re actually dealing with medical professionals. I mentioned yesterday that there was some confusion surrounding my Day 21 blood tests. I didn’t get them done properly until the third go because the lab kept forgetting to do the actual test they were supposed to. Hospitals and labs get confused as well, they shouldn’t, but sometimes it happens.

We also had a bit of confusion with the hospital as well. We’d spent two years on the waiting list, which is a long time to wait for something, but then found ourselves in a position where we weren’t in a place where we could begin treatment. So we contacted the hospital to let them know and somewhere along the way the message got misunderstood; ‘Sorry, we can’t have treatment right now’ became ‘Sorry, we don’t want treatment at all’.

The first we knew of it was in October last year when we got in contact about our position on the list, only to be told we weren’t on it. It was a bit of a shock. I didn’t actually post about it here because for a long time my emotions were all over the place and I didn’t know what was going on.


Letters were exchanged and it was all sorted out after a few months but it taught me a valuable lesson. If you’re confused about anything in the process, you need to ask to make things clearer for you.

Likewise, if you’ve got a friend or family member going through the IVF or ICSI process, you’re watching it all from the outside, so you’re bound to be confused about bits of it; why can’t your friend give you a specific date for when egg collection will take place? What’s all this talk about follicles and stimming? If you’re not sure, why not just ask? As long as you’re sensitive about it, I’m sure they’ll be happy to explain.

24 comments:

  1. Brave subject to post about, hope it is successful xx Confusion - definitely reigns when it comes to googling health information - I always tell everyone else not to do it, and yet do it myself! x

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    1. Thank you. :-)

      And oh yes! Doctor Google never has good news for you. And even when you know that it's going to tell you you're dying, you still can't help but look.

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  2. Best of luck with this and thank you for sharing your experience. Sometimes just being able to see someone else's experience is enough to help someone through a tough time.
    Rebecca at The Ninja Librarian

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    1. Thank you. And yes, I think sharing experiences so people who aren't going through something can understand it definitely helps. :-)

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  3. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Also, thanks for visiting my blog. Good luck with this!

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    1. Thank you and thanks for returning the visit. :-)

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  4. OMG - I'm not normally an angry person but the lack of competence shown in what appears to have been happening to you is making my blood boil. I can only imagine that at times like those you and Mr. Click stick together like limpets and thank someone you have each other!! I am sending a big hug and would you like the Terry Pratchett Raising Steam as we have acquired a paperback version mysteriously? If yes - email me your address and I will send it on to you!! pempispalace@yahoo.co.uk

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    1. Aw, thank you for the anger on my behalf. I did go through some angry phases but we're at their mercy and I don't like to let the stress of these things get to me too much. Everything is moving smoothly now at least and yes, difficult times definitely bring us together.

      And oh my goodness, definitely yes to Raising Steam, that would be incredible. ^_^ I will email you immediately. :-D You rock!

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  5. Having dealt with infertility, I do know there is lots of confusion out there. I remember because at the time the Internet hadn't been invented yet, LOL, gosh I'm old (this would have been in the 1980s) that I would try to devour all the books I could about the subject. I'm sure these days with the internet there is just so much more out there to read on. I do hope one day you will be able to have a child. I know the waiting time can be so frustrating and so emotional especially if there are others around you achieving pregnancies. We ended up adopting, which was an adventure in itself.

    Good luck with the rest of the challenge!

    betty

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    1. Thanks for sharing your experience Betty. :-)

      I'm not sure if not having the internet would make things easier or harder - probably a lot less information out there and harder to access without it, but I think it's a lot easier to read things that are misleading online.

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  6. Dreadful that you could be taken off a list without them checking more carefully! I generally have faith in the NHS, but sometimes they try it.....
    Anabel's Travel Blog

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    1. It was the result of some miscommunication, but I've been reassured in one of the letters I've been sent since that they've changed their policies so that people who are taken off the list will receive a letter to let them know. I like to think that because of us things have been made better. :-)

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  7. What an incredibly brave subject for your A-Z! I hope it's a great success! I can't imagine how it must feel, but the internet must be a huge minefield. Like you I don't think I could help but look!
    Thank you for sharing, and good luck with the rest of the challenge.

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    1. Thank you, and thanks for returning the visit. :-)

      I think there's a massive draw from the internet because it has so many answers and experience. It's so handy, it's just that sometimes it's also a bit scary!

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  8. Wow, I felt my heart just drop when I read about how you ended up off of the list altogether. I was infertile, too, though I did not choose to go through treatments. I ended up getting divorced and remarried, and ended up with full-time twin stepchildren! It was a wild and crazy way to end that story.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your story Nadine. What a great way for things to end up for you!

      One thing I'm learning through picking this as my topic is that there are a lot of people who are in a similar boat to us. :-)

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  9. Confusion always reigns when dealing with lots of people. It's easy to get messages garbled.

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    1. That's very true. Everyone can hear and interpret a message in their own ways. I bet that's something you see a lot of in high school classrooms. ;-)

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  10. I didn't realize how much, um, crap people can go through. You would think it would be a simpler process. Hopefully things will be easier

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    1. Thank you. :-)

      And yes, I quite often think 'there has to be a simpler way' but hopefully it'll all be worth it in the end.

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  11. Sorry for what you've been going through. A lot of things to do with medical treatment are a waiting game but this is particularly difficult. You sound quite calm and matter of fact about it all though. I hope things work out for you.

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    1. Thank you. :-)

      And I think it's important to not let things stress you out too much because with most of these things it's all out of your control; hard, but important. ;-)

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  12. It sounds like a complicated process. The confusion is unfortunate. :(

    Yvonne

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    1. It is very complicated so I can kind of see how confusion can arise. :-)

      Thanks for stopping by.

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Let me know what you think. :-)