Wednesday 29 April 2015

#AtoZChallenge: Y is for Youth

This is the twenty-fifth of a series of posts that I’m posting during the A to Z Challenge; that’s a blogging challenge where you aim to post a blog post for each letter of the alphabet throughout the month of April (with Sundays off for good behaviour). During my first A to Z Challenge I wrote about infertility, which I’m sort of revisiting during A to Z Challenge 2015.

My theme this year is IVF/ICSI, a process we’re starting at the moment and today it’s Y for Youth.


I don’t make a habit in day-to-day life of telling people that we’re having IVF treatment, but by the same token, it’s not something I hide either. If people ask, I tell them and one of the comments I frequently get is ‘well, you’re still young’. I get the impression that some people seem to think that IVF treatment is just something that people think about when they’re past forty and realise that the biological clock is ticking a lot quicker than they would like.

When it looked like we’d been taken off the list and would have to go back on and start all over from the beginning again I actually had a GP do a sympathetic tut, a smile and a ‘well, you’re still young’, justifying this with the fact that as I’m younger my eggs will be ‘sticky’. I think that comment was supposed to reassure me. It didn’t really.

It is true that fertility treatments are more likely to be successful when you are younger; you’ve got higher quality eggs, your body is in a better condition to be able to carry a pregnancy. Statistics say that things are in your favour. But that’s not to say that you might not be disappointed, whereas a forty-something year-old with lower quality eggs might achieve a successful IVF pregnancy. It just works out that way.

It’s very interesting to look at statistics, but don’t get hung up over declining chances of success as you age. There is nothing you can do about getting older, even if it’s frustrating while you’re on a waiting list and know that it might be months or years before you get your shot at treatment. Focus on the things you can control; eat healthily, exercise, don’t smoke, drink in moderation. Those are all things that will impact your chance of success which you can take charge of.


And if you know someone who is going through treatment, don’t do the ‘well, you’re still young’ (or the variant for older women, ‘well, there’s still time’) because they’re probably more than aware of the ticking clock and being young isn’t going to fix their twisted tubes, polycystic ovaries or rapidly declining egg quality.

12 comments:

  1. I sorta know what you mean. I have a precursor to PCO and am pretty hung up on keeping that under control. People who know don't get it because "I'm young", but one day, it might come back to haunt me if I don't.

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    1. Exactly, I think people often speak without knowing the full story and so run the risk of upsetting people.

      Good luck with it. :-)

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    1. I think sometimes people think that they're saying comforting and helpful, but for the person who it's aimed it doesn't always come across in the best way. :-)

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  3. What Anabel said. People don't realize they're being thoughtless sometimes.

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    1. Yes, it can be so easy to say something upsetting without realising it. I'm sure we all do it at some time or another. :-)

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  4. So much to learn about being a candidate and about the whole process. Your posts have certainly given your readers an insight to the process and an education on being a patient and a candidate. The uninformed often don't know what to say, so they speak without thought to how it will be taken.
    Sue at CollectInTexas Gal
    AtoZ 2015 Challenge
    Minion for AJ's wHooligans

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    1. That's very true, and we can't expect people to know everything about a process as involved as fertility treatments. I think it's important to ask questions and be informed if someone close to you is having any kind of medical treatment so you can be supportive. :-)

      Thanks for stopping by.

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  5. I hate it when people throw platitudes around, but I guess perhaps they want to be helpful and don't know what to say.

    Visiting from A-Z
    Lots of luck to you!

    http://gvpeasachantrant.blogspot.com

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    1. Yeah, I think that's what it is. Sometimes I think it's best to just stick to 'sorry to hear that' or 'I'm thinking of you' and leave it at that, rather than offering empty platitudes. :-)

      Thank you and thanks for visiting. :-)

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  6. Everything is so much easier when we're younger. Be nice if people minded what they say, wouldn't it?

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    1. Definitely. I think it's very easy to say something that can hurt without realising it. :-)

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Let me know what you think. :-)