Saturday, 23 January 2016

Film Review: The Desolation of Smaug, Part 1

Or as I keep typing it: Samug. Whoever he is.

I've finally made time to watch the film (or rather, the first hour and eight minutes of it, I'll get to the rest of it later today). This is the second in the Hobbit film trilogy and it's where the action really starts to happen. The last three hours were really just warming up for this.

1. It's taken me a while to getting around to it, but it's finally time for The Desolation of Smaug. I love the opening music, it's all dramatic and then it goes into the Hobitton theme for a minute.

2. Hello, Bree! Been a while since we were here last.

3. And there's Peter Jackson reprising his brilliant role as 'man eating a carrot'.

4. I like that we get to see more of the town. If you watch the special features you learn that its actually mostly houses from Laketown which have been repurposed.

5. The barmaid is Katie Jackson, the director's daughter, and the Hobbit at the bar is Kiran Shah, one of the doubles from the Lord of the Rings films.

6. Hello, Gandalf. Also, hello backstory.

7. Let's revisit the Battle of Moria, just in case you've forgotten what it looked like. Also, let's meet Thrain because we'll be seeing a little more of him in this film.

8. I'm sure I mentioned it in the last film review, but I wish they'd made mention of the Burned Dwarves. I'm sure they could've slotted it in.

9. I like that this reveals that Gandalf was the one pushing for the Dwarves to go after the Lonely Mountain. He had a good deal of foresight really.

10. Hehe, imagine mistaking Gandalf for a vagabond. Can't imagine why they might think that.

11. Gandalf pretty much orchestrates the whole trip to get rid of Smaug as well as recruiting Bilbo to the party.

12. Oh, and speaking of Bilbo, there he is.

13. And there's a big bear... thing. Actually, the first time I saw this film, I thought he was another Warg at first.

14. Gandalf knows everything. He just lets other people, or Dwarves, think they are in charge but he's actually just pulling all the strings.

15. Either the sun was just coming up in that last scene or they've been running away from that bear all night!

16. Bombur overtaking everyone else is pretty hilarious.

17. We saw this in 3D in the cinema and I loved how the bees seemed to fly out the screen.

18. And this is why they needed Gandalf and Bilbo on the trip, because most of the Dwarves can't even figure out how to open a door. They definitely wouldn't be able to get into the mountain, even if the entrance wasn't hidden.

19. Beorn's house looks lovely. I'd live there. I'm not sure about keeping cows and goats in your dining room though.

20. "You'll be safe here... I hope." Yeah, as long as the bear has as much trouble with opening doors as the Dwarves do, you'll be fine.

21. Aww, mices.

22. Is it weird that sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, I mutter the Ring rhyme in Black Speech under my breath? It's kind of soothing.

23. I like how Sauron is basically just nothingness in this scene. It's like a shadow with nothing there to cast it. Very creepy.

24. I thought Azog was ugly but Bolg is way uglier.

25. Cleverly silhouetted naked bear man there.

26. I would freak the hell out if a bumblebee that size came anywhere near me. That was about twice
the size of the one that stung me a couple of year ago.

27. I'm so glad that they put this scene back into the Extended Edition of the film. It's one of my favourite bits in the book and I missed in the first time I saw it.

28. Hehe, "Bombur, you count as two, you should come out alone."

29. That pig looks like the one which lives next door to my Mum.

30. Gandalf is just brilliant in this bit, he's all jolly and forgetful.

31. "Is that it?" Not quite.

32. That is a really big milk jug.

33. I love that Beorn makes even Gandalf look small. I've gotten used to Gandalf being the tallest one in the group.

34. Beorn has some serious eyebrows. It makes me want to pull out my scissors.

35. Aww, little meece.

36. And Gandalf's just realised that he's got somewhere else to go.

37. "A tomb so dark it would never come to light." Not so much.

38. Bit of pretty New Zealand scenery there.

39. Mirkwood looks like what you'd get if Fangorn and Lothlórien had a baby forest.

40. Galadriel can pretty much call Gandalf whenever she feels like it. That's a useful skill to have.

41. I love this bit where Bilbo almost comes clean about the Ring and then thinks better of it. I think Gandalf almost knows what Bilbo is going to tell him as well.

42. Thranduil doesn't really keep his garden in very good order, does he?

43. In the original PS2 Hobbit game this is where I always used to get to, then I got completely stuck.

44. "The waters of this stream are enchanted." "Doesn't look very enchanting to me." Hehe.

45. Thorin's already got a bit of that evil leader thing going on. I'm guessing this is foreshadowing for the next film.

46. I think I could just watch a whole film of Martin Freeman trying to cross those vines. I'd love to see the outtakes.

47. I like that they send the lightest, he makes it across and the vines hold so they decide this means that all of them should just climb across them. Obviously if the vine can hold one Hobbit, it'll hold thirteen Dwarves!

48. Don't shoot the pretty deer. It glows, it's so beautiful.

49. Yes Thorin, you made your own luck. And now you're lucky enough that you've all got to carry Bombur through the forest.

50. I love how weird and dreamlike they make this with the throbbing noise and the fuzzy distorted images. I always wondered how they were going to convey the strangest of the forest.

51. Bilbo, don't touch! He's basically just rung the doorbell to let the spiders know that there are tasty edibles in the forest.

52. That's it guys, bicker amongst yourselves. That'll make a bad situation worse!

53. Pretty butterflies. I love the contrast between the orange leaves and the blue butterflies.

Next week there will be spiders. Lots and lots of spiders. It's not pretty.

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