But that's not what this post is about. It's time for the next chapter of Stephenie Meyer's New Moon. This week is Chapter 15: Pressure.
It's Spring Break and Bella's having to spend all her time being minded by the werewolves in order to save her from becoming vampire chow. She gets a bit bored of it all and Jacob promises her an exhilarating trip cliff diving. But when he can't show up, Bella decides to go it alone. A decision which isn't up there with one of her smartest ones.
Thoughts as I read:
This chapter is called Pressure so I'm guessing that this aren't going to be easy for the weres and Bella. She's going to feel under pressure with being the bait in their plan, I guess. Let's find out.
We're starting in Spring Break. Bella stresses that this is 'again' because we've already done it in the last book, she catches us up on this just in case we'd forgotten and wonders if she's developing a pattern here. It would become a little predictable if she gets hunted by a vampire every Spring.
She's been spending a lot of time with Jacob, including holding hands on the beach. You can do so much better there Jacob.
Oh, it's okay. This is just an act or something, though Bella knows that Jacob would like it to be more than that. She's so modest. Actually, other people seem to have noticed this as well. Mike points it out to Bella at work. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We learn that Jacob has a higher body temperature than regular humans. It's because he's a wolf and also because he is the absolute opposite of Edward. He also offers to self-harm in order to show Bella how quickly he can heal now. He's been spending way too much time around her.
Apparently they're all waiting on Quil 'developing'. It builds gradually with the person getting hotter and hotter until. Well, whatever happens that makes them suddenly become a werewolf. They then have a trigger that makes them 'explode'. Written like that it sounds almost sexual. Except it isn't, since Jake nearly killed his father in that moment.
Jacob still insists that he's not miserable. Except for nearly killing his father. And knowing that Sam permanently scarred Emily when he lost it. And feeling like a monster. And scared that he's losing control. There's something about his family history in here as well. The gist of it is that he's related to Quil, they're second cousins.
There are good things about being a werewolf though, like going fast. Well, vampires can do that too, Jacob. He doesn't give any other examples of good things about being a werewolf, so I guess that being able to move a little quicker than normal is the only one.
Jacob notices Bella's scar and realises that she's been bitten and yet isn't a vampire so Bella tells him about how Edward saved her by sucking out the venom. This news almost pushes Jacob over the edge and for a second Bella is very close to ending up like Emily. To distract him, Bella agrees to tell him about the extra powers the Cullens possessed because there's no way that this could ever be a bad idea and put her friends in danger in the future.
"We're a pretty messed-up pair, aren't we?" Jacob said. "Neither one of us can hold our shape together right."
"Pathetic," I agreed, still breathless.
"At least we have each other," he said, clearly comforted by the thought.
That's like the least comforting thought ever!
Bella then bounces around trying to find somewhere safe to hang out when Jacob's not around. First at Billy's house and then at Emily's before finding herself back n the beach and wandering again. She's worried and anxious and uptight and we get it because we've been hearing this since the last chapter. She works herself up until she can't take it anymore and eventually curls up in a ball and that's where Jacob finds her.
And he decides that she needs to spend the next day doing something fun. I hope Jacob remembers that Bella's idea of fun is trying to kill herself on a motorbike. It shouldn't be hard to top that.
Yet it doesn't take him long to come out with a suitable activity. Cliff diving!
Unsurprisingly, Bella is up for it:
The dark water did not look inviting, and, from this angle, the cliffs looked even higher than before.
But it had been days since I'd heard Edward's voice. That was probably part of the problem. I was addicted to the sound of my delusions. It made things worse if I went too long without them. Jumping off a cliff was certain to remedy that situation.
Bella finds herself quite looking forward to the cliff jumping excursion, so she's a bit surprised when she gets to Jacob's house to find he isn't actually waiting for her. Billy informs her that a better date has come up, or, y'know, a fresh trail. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. They think they've got a chance to get rid of Victoria once and for all.
They've only killed one vampire together though, all their knowledge about vampire killing is passed down from father to son. So it's basically anecdotal. It couldn't possibly fail.
Bella heads back to the beach. Alone. And wonders at the lack of animals and the silence. That couldn't possibly because there's a vampire hanging around and waiting to kill her, could it? Perhaps the werewolves are using her as bait without letting her know that's what they're up to.
Now she's at the beach she doesn't want to be there, but she can't think of anywhere else she'd like to be instead. And she's worried about Jacob and blah, blah, blah.
Bella decides that now would be the perfect time to try cliff diving. Because doing something dangerous without any instruction from a person with more experience when it could potentially kill you is a totally rational thing to do. It does the trick for Bella and within a few minutes she's hearing Edward's voice in her head, pleading Bella not to do it.
She ignores him and does it anyway.
And at first it's all good.
Until she gets swept away by the current and starts drowning. What a smart move, Bella. In her head, Edward keeps giving Bella instructions to keep fighting the water, to keep breathing, not to drown but Bella just imagines Edward and happily gives up.
This is what she's wanted for ages anyway.
Goodbye, I love you, was my last thought.