Saturday 4 April 2015

#AtoZChallenge: D is for Dildo Cam

This is the fourth of a series of posts that I’m posting during the A to Z Challenge; that’s a blogging challenge where you aim to post a blog post for each letter of the alphabet throughout the month of April (with Sundays off for good behaviour). During my first A to Z Challenge I wrote about infertility, which I’m sort of revisiting during A to Z Challenge 2015.

My theme this year is IVF/ICSI, a process we’re starting at the moment and today it’s D for Dildo Cam.


I did say at the beginning of this challenge that this would be a somewhat tongue-in-cheek look at the IVF/ICSI treatment process. This is one of those posts.

If you’re not lucky enough to have become acquainted with a dildo cam, this is a dildo cam:

About as well endowed as your average man.
It’s worth noting here that I had several options for where this post ended up. It could have been filed under T for Trans-Vaginal Ultrasound, U for Ultrasound and V for Vaginal Ultrasound. Hell, I could even have used it for I for Internal Examination. It probably says something about me considering I settled on D for Dildo Cam right from the very beginning.

The name obviously stems from its likeness to a certain adult implement. The likeness is only enhanced by the giant condom that is placed over it before it is inserted into the obvious place.

It’s not exactly comfortable and it becomes less comfortable as the drugs take effect on your body and make that whole area tender, particularly when someone is waving around a long wand and poking your insides. Which is why you need to have a little bit of a laugh with it some times. Hence the name dildo cam.

Oh and did I mention that your first encounter with this instrument will probably be on Day 3 of your cycle. Yup. It's squicky. This is to establish your baseline though, so definitely necessary because they want to check that your womb lining will be suitable for bedding down an embryo at the tail end of treatment.

To be slightly less crude, it’s used to get a good look at your insides. It’s not only used during IVF. Women may become acquainted with them during early pregnancy or when there are issues in that region of the body. It can give a good look at the uterus and ovaries, hence its usefulness in tracking progress during fertility treatment.

It is pretty cool to get a look at the growth of follicles over the course of treatment. It kind of helps to take your mind off the person prodding your insides with the dildo cam. A good nurse will talk you through what you’re seeing on the screen and if you’re into that kind of thing, it can be really interesting.

I find calling it a dildo cam helps to keep things a little bit more light-hearted as well. Assisted conception is heavy going stuff and sometimes you need to be able to laugh about it, especially when you’re kind of being violated by one of many pieces of medical equipment.


So if you’ve got a friend or family member going through the process, remember that many, if not most, of the procedures they are going through will be uncomfortable or unpleasant, but that person is staying focused on the anticipated end result and that helps to make it worth it. It's easy to say 'I could never do that' but the woman going through it probably felt like that in the beginning as well. It's amazing what you can find yourself doing when you want something so much.

30 comments:

  1. I have to take my hat off to you with the title... I did a double take when I read it, with this being my first visit and not knowing what your theme was - I like your style!

    Best of luck with the challenge and your journey, I hope you reach both your desinations safely.

    Much love
    Mars xx
    Curling Stones for Lego People

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    1. Thank you and thanks for visiting. I'm glad that you found today's topic eye-catching, hehe. :-)

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  2. Hello there.
    I commend you for your candor in blogging about something so personal. I am not a parent but I hope to have children one day...just not in this wicked world. I'll wait for the earth to be a peaceful paradise, the way it used to be (Psalms 37:10, 11; Revelation 21:3-5).
    Thanks for sharing and for visiting my blog.

    Entrepreneurial Goddess

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    1. I thought this was a good opportunity to talk about things that don't normally come up in conversation. :-)

      Thanks for visiting.

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  3. Ooh, I could feel the discomfort there! (Crosses legs). I so admire the way you face this with humour.
    Anabel's Travel Blog

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    1. Yeah, it's not a pleasant feeling. Laughing about it makes it somewhat easier. ;-)

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  4. Ouch. I actually experienced one when I had a tubal pregnancy. It was a sad day, the discomfort the least of it.

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    1. Sorry to hear that. I can imagine that did not help an already awful situation.

      Thank you for stopping by.

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  5. One absolutely needs tons of humor to deal with and go through this experience. I really appreciate you sharing this, and the details only makes it sound more real, which is the way it should be after all. The reader has to feel something, given the subject matter, and you most definitely achieved this. Big hugs.
    Best,
    Silvia.

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    1. Yes, you definitely need to keep a sense of humour to get through these things. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope the rest of my posts are as enjoyable. :-)

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  6. I have never heard of this but seeing this...looks quite uncomfortable

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    1. Count yourself lucky. ;-p Definitely not one to add to your bucket list!

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  7. I roared when I read your title, I had to have that particular implement used on me, for a very different reason. They were checking for a problem, thank my lucky stars there was none... Anywhoo, they called it the "YouCam", so they could see "inside of You". Yes, you do need a sense of humor for such rather undignified stuff...

    Cat

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    1. It must have been a relief that there was nothing wrong. A 'YouCam' is probably a more socially acceptable name for it. The nurses at the hospital just call it an ultrasound, but I prefer my name. ;-)

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  8. I had a doc want to use one of those when I was being looked at for PCOS. I refused. Didn't see the point as the other ultrasound seemed to give the doc a good enough look.

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    1. I don't blame you for declining the dildo cam experience. With looking at the follicles it does give them a much closer look, but it can still be hard to work out exactly what they are looking at. :-)

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  9. Years ago I had a Trans-Vaginal Ultrasound when I was diagnosed as having Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I found out I have several fibroid tumors but I decided not to have surgery. I love that you made this topic humorous.

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed this post. It's a fairly undignified process so I think it's important to find the humour in it. :-)

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  10. Well that's an interesting title to say the least. I look forward to checking out some more of your posts this coming week!

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    1. I thought that it would definitely prompt people to read it and comment, hehe. Hope you enjoy the rest of my posts this week. :-)

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  11. So you made up the title? It's catchy and memorable, that's for sure!

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    1. I can't take credit for the name, unfortunately, it's been called that for many years on forums and blogs dealing with the process. But it's a very fitting name.

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  12. You had a lot of alphabet choices for this particular....instrument and you picked the right one! Your title made me burst out laughing and I had to read on. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

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    1. Hehe, I'm glad you appreciated it. I certainly think it's the most... descriptive name for it. ;-)

      Thanks for the return visit.

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  13. I can see why it's called that! But I don't want to go near it.

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  14. Ohh, with a title and post like this, I think you and I may be destined to be friends! I had my ovaries checked out about a year ago with one of these lovely instruments. All the other women leaving the office were waving pictures of their unborn babies. I told the technician that it wasn't fair that I didn't get a picture of a baby to take with me, so she took pictures of my ovaries and they're still on my refrigerator door to this day! (I even wrote a guest post on a male blogger's site about my experience!) I've also written, with probably way too much detail, about my hemorrhoid surgery and boobs and a number of other things. I look forward to reading more of your posts!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed this post. We should set up some sort of support group for women who have shared the experience of the dildo cam. ;-)

      I'm very jealous that you got a picture of your ovaries. When I was scanned before to check my follicles I dropped lots of hints that I'd like a picture for my blog, hehe, they never bit. I do have a photo of my eyeball freckle which I've shared on here in the past. ;-)

      Sometimes I think it's good to overshare a little, I'll definitely be visiting your blog again. :-)

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  15. I had to have an examination with one of those years ago - they used to look even bigger and more cumbersome. My exact words were "you've got to be kidding me!" She then explained that most of it was a handle and it was just the end that had the camera on! She could have told me that before she brandished the thing LOL! x

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    1. Hehe, the first time you see it and realise where it's going it's a bit of a shock.

      Thanks for visiting. :-)

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Let me know what you think. :-)