Tuesday 14 April 2015

#AtoZChallenge: L is for Love

This is the twelfth of a series of posts that I’m posting during the A to Z Challenge; that’s a blogging challenge where you aim to post a blog post for each letter of the alphabet throughout the month of April (with Sundays off for good behaviour). During my first A to Z Challenge I wrote about infertility, which I’m sort of revisiting during A to Z Challenge 2015.

My theme this year is IVF/ICSI, a process we’re starting at the moment and today it’s L for Love.


Chances are, whatever your reason for needing fertility treatment, there’s a massive factor in deciding to do it; love. You probably have other reasons as well; you want to meet someone who is the genetic mix of you and your partner, you want to add to your family and have another person to share birthdays or holidays with, everyone else is having babies and you want one as well. But the main reason is because you love your partner and you love the idea of making and raising a little person together.

Excuse me, I might be getting a little bit mushy here.

Let’s face it, the term ‘labour of love’ is surprisingly apt for the process of IVF. I’m not sure that anyone would willingly put crazy drugs into their system that make their ovaries swell as eggs develop and put themselves through the stress of the blood tests or scans if it wasn’t for a huge amount of love.

And although the love you share as a couple is a big factor, there’s also another element of love in there as well; the love you already have for your unconceived child.

It sounds kind of weird but before you even start IVF you’ll have composed an idea of your hypothetical child. You probably first imagined them when you made that heady decision to dispense with the birth control and to start trying for a family. If you’ve been trying for a while they might have changed a little bit. In the beginning my hypothetical child was very definitely either a little girl or a little boy (depending on my mood at the time). Nowadays it’s just a child of indeterminate sex, I guess because gender isn’t so important to me any more.

I’ve spoken to people online who have said that when they first found out that their eggs had fertilised and their embryos were developing they felt an overwhelming surge of love and a desire to protect those little bundles of cells, their potential-babies. I guess there’s some deep mothering instinct at play there, the knowledge that between you and your partner you’ve created life and you want to help nurture it.

If you’re on the outside looking in, it may seem weird that someone can feel such strong emotions for something that isn’t technically a baby yet. Just remember, by the time a couple gets to that stage they’ve probably been waiting quite a while to get that close to pregnancy. And they’re doing it because they love each other and the idea of their prospective child or children. Bear that in mind when you’re commenting on the process.

Obviously I’ve not been there myself yet. Hopefully I’ll get there in the next couple of months. Until then I’ll keep on focusing on why we’re doing this.


It’s all about the love.

15 comments:

  1. thank you for this article. Its good to keep our focus on why we do the things we decide to do. I loved the bit about wanting to protect the little bundle of cells. it melts the heart. May all be as desired soon.

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  2. thank you for this article. Its good to keep our focus on why we do the things we decide to do. I loved the bit about wanting to protect the little bundle of cells. it melts the heart. May all be as desired soon. Love and blessings.

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    1. Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-)

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  3. I pray you get your heart desire very, very soon.

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  4. Good luck. I hope it works out for you this time.

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  5. I hope all goes the way you want and you get the baby you're wanting.

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  6. When one goes through as much as you are going through, you will love those little cells. It is something you are consciously trying to do and it is not the "normal" route. You have so much invested in this that love comes into play before the cells even exist

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    1. I think that's exactly what it is. I suppose a person who has been trying to get pregnant and sees those two little lines starts to feel love and attachment to their developing baby right away and in a way it's the same thing. :-)

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  7. You go ahead and get mushy, I'm loving your posts. This month is crazy, but I'll have to come back and read again and again. It's for love, yes, I so agree. I also like the point you make about wanting to meet a genetic mix of us and our partners, but overall -- love. Thanks for the great post. Glad to have connected.

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    1. Hehe, thank you for putting up with my mushiness. ;-)

      And I'm glad you're enjoying my posts, thanks for coming back. :-)

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  8. You have to have MOUNTAINS of love to go through all that you have for a little one...
    Cat

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    1. Definitely, it really helps you to get through it all. :-)

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Let me know what you think. :-)