At the tail end of the previous week I was feeling cramping and other strange but promising symptoms. Then last Sunday they all seemed to fizzle out. And my fertility bracelet broke. I'm not hugely superstitious (though we have had to park in the same parking space each time we've gone to the hospital because, y'know) but that seemed like the universe was sending me some sort of pretty big sign.
I felt naked all day without the weight of it on my wrist, even though Mr Click got straight online and ordered me another, but from that point on I started feeling less like it had worked. I still had all the side effects of the progesterone (read: needing to pee every. damn. hour!) but there was nothing that made me feel like I might be ever so slightly pregnant.
By Monday I was starting to feel like my period was coming and at one point at work I thought I had a bit of spotting. There was a little more that evening. Then Tuesday morning my period basically started.
Lots of optimistic people told me that brown spotting is a good thing, that some women have periods right the way through an otherwise normal pregnancy, that there's no point worrying until you've done a test. Well I did the test, as required by the hospital, on Wednesday morning and as expected it was negative. This was no surprise to me by this point.
I'm disappointed that little 5BB didn't take. I'd grown attached to the little blob. I've run a whole gamut of emotions since Tuesday last week; everything from anger through to acceptance. I'm thinking that if it didn't work, there's obviously some reason, and hopefully the embryo that is destined to be our child is still waiting for transfer.
So now what?
Well, I've got to speak to the hospital. We'll have an appointment with them and see if there was anything that went especially wrong (my main query is about starting my period while on progesterone, which is supposed to stop that from happening). And then work out what we'll do next, and when.
We're in the lucky position of having three frozen embryos. I'm holding out hope that perhaps we'll get luckier with Olaf, after all, this time we got two steps further than last time; perhaps next time we might make it far enough to see a heartbeat on a scan.
Until then, we wait. We're pretty good at that now.
I'm sorry. I bet you're right, one of the others is meant to take.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteAnd hopefully it's meant to be with one of the others. :-)
Forgive me if I'm wrong but I thought I heard somewhere that if you have several embryo's you can implant all of them at once in the hopes that one of them will attach and stay even if the others don't. That there's a better chance when doing that then implanting one at a time. Or am I wrong?
ReplyDeleteDifferent clinics have different regulations about how many should be transferred. Because multiple births present a risk to the mother and the babies the ultimate aim is for a healthy, single, pregnancy.
DeleteThey take lots of factors into account though, for someone under the age of 35 they'll just transfer one (especially if it's as good quality as 5BB was) because you've already got a greater chance of it taking. When you're over 35 they'll look at transferring two. I think on occasions they'll make exceptions, like if you've got two low quality ones or something.
When they transfer the embryo it's still at a stage of development where it could divide to become twins (or more), so if they put two in and they get carried away you could end up with quads and all the risks associated with that. It's a fine line to balance.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You have a positive attitude that I'm sure will help in the process going forward.
ReplyDeleteI had a miscarriage, basically at home with lots of bleeding, and then I got pregnant again and started bleeding and thought the same thing happened. But the bleeding lasted a day and Gage arrived 5 months later, so you're right you never know til you check.
Thank you. :-)
DeleteSorry to hear about your loss as well, and I'm glad it worked out for you in the end.