Saturday, 25 July 2015

Film Review: The Two Towers, Part 1

Last week we finished up with the final part of the The Fellowship of the Ring and watched as Frodo and Sam prepared to head off to Mordor on their own.

Now it's time to pick up where we left off and head straight back into the action; in this instalment of The Two Towers Frodo and Sam will meet Gollum; Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli will meet Eomer; and Merry and Pippin just get to meet more Orcs.

1. And we're off in the second film of the trilogy. I feel like this one should begin with: PREVIOUSLY ON THE LORD OF THE RINGS.

2. Ooh look, pretty New Zealand scenery.

3. Just a little recap of what happened to Gandalf, just in case you missed the first film (like the guys sat behind us in the cinema the first time we saw it).

4. And now we get to find out just what happened to Gandalf after that little incident on the bridge. It was very burny.

5. This Balrog definitely has wings.

6. It's just a dream. Back to Frodo and Sam now. I'm so glad this film doesn't play things the way the book does, otherwise I wouldn't be able to say anything about Frodo and Sam for another three weeks!

7. I'm glad they included the rope in the Extended Edition.

8. Hehe, anticlimax as Frodo makes it to the bottom safely.

9. Who's going to follow you down? Uh, Gollum.

10. Magic rope, comes when you call it!

11. They're lost. What they really need is a guide. I wonder where they can find one of those.

12. This might've been made easier if Gandalf had actually sat down with them and they'd planned out a route together before they left. Just saying.

13. One bite of Lembas bread fills the stomach of a grown man, so watch Sam munching away on it. Stupid, fat Hobbit.

14. Oh look. Here comes company.

15. Frodo and Sam are getting nowhere fast.

16. I wonder if the 'nasty stink' is actually Gollum. I mean, he eats raw fish, I doubt whether he's going to smell good.

17. Spider!Gollum!

18. Gollum seems so much smoother now, after seeing him with so much extra detail in the Hobbit films. It's like watching the old Pixar shorts from the early 90s.

19. Frodo's finally got what Gandalf was saying about pity. This may come in useful later.

20. Jeez Sam, Gollum was actually being somewhat nice then. You need to be a little more trusting. Then again, it is Gollum so I can see why he's not exactly signing up to be best friends with him.

21. Frodo should really be more specific about getting Gollum to lead them to the gate, he's going to follow those instructions to the letter.

22. I do quite like cheerful Gollum.

23. And now let's catch up with Merry and Pippin. Pippin's doing okay, Merry not so much.

24. The Orcs and Uruks are not going to win any beauty contests, are they?

25. At least Merry is conscious again, let's hope he stays that way.

26. If I tried taking off a brooch with my teeth, I'd probably stab myself in the lip.

27. And now it's time for some Aragorn.

28. Look out Gimli, you just dropped something.

29. And there goes Legolas stumbling. Hehe, can't help but notice those when I watch this.

30. Aragorn's found the brooch. Gimli's struggling with the pace though.

31. I want to go to Rohan. I'm not even that keen on horses.

32. They're taking the hobbits to Isengard! Best line in the film!

33. Saruman's just pinching Galadriel's lines from the first film now.

34. Saruman's got his minions cutting down more trees. I'm telling you mate, you're going to regret that.

35. Oh look, it's Peter Jackson again.

36. And this bit's a little familiar, perhaps because we already saw it in the first film.

37. I love seeing the 'real people' in these films. I want to know more about that family. I'm sure someone's fanfic'd them.

38. Hi Éomer.

39. Not looking good for Théodred. He might be alive, but not for long.

40. Rohan has the coolest music.

41. Yay! Éowyn. She's easily my favourite female character.

42. We just finished watching Titanic so it's kind of weird seeing Bernard Hill being Théoden in this.

43. Here's a bit of exposition, just in case you've not read the books.

44. How can anyone look at Gríma and think he's a good guy? He's so obviously evil.

45. If I was Éowyn and Wormtongue looked at me like that, I think I'd need to go take a shower.

46. Little bit more New Zealand scenery porn.

47. Oh, I want to go there.

48. I love Gimli. I know people hate him being the comic relief, but he's just so cool that I love it.

49. And now it's night and we're back to Merry and Pippin. We're right outside Fangorn Forest and the trees aren't too happy about being cut down.

50. Merry thinks that this might actually be a good thing though. He's giving us a brief recap of a chapter from The Fellowship of the Ring that never made it into the film.

51. It's kind of funny the way that Merry looks down at his legs when the Orc mentions them eating their legs. Just like he's checking what they mean, 'oh, wait, these legs?!'

52. Pippin's just this minute figured out why they've been kidnapped. Hobbit-napped?

53. Merry and Pippin make a break for it as the bad guys come under attack. Yay! Horse guys to the rescue.

54. Notice how Pippin's wrists were tied a moment ago and then suddenly come untied when it looks like he's about to be trampled.

55. But now we're back to Aragorn and crew. The sun's coming up and the Riders of Roham are approaching.

56. I love the way they ride in and surround the trio. Very dramatic.

57. And this is why Aragorn is the king-to-be. He's got the hang of diplomacy. Éomer is kind of lacking in that department, though I suppose he's got good reason.

58. He's not too friendly because he thinks they might be spies. That's justified I suppose.

59. Bad news, though guys. They killed all the Uruks and they didn't see any Hobbits. Not looking good for your friends.

60. Éomer obviously feels guilty because he gives them some horses. Here's two horses to make up for the two Hobbits we probably killed by mistake. Sorry guys.

61. Nice big pile of corpses. Oh dear, and there's a Hobbit belt in the pile. That's not a good sign.

62. Here's where Viggo Mortensen apparently broke a toe. I guess that scream is more than just because they've lost their friends.

63. And now we get to figure out what happened to Merry and Pippin.

64. It's ironic that Aragorn says 'their hands were bound' moments after we saw Pippin with his hands unbound.

65. It's all becoming clear now. Thank goodness Aragorn can spot near-invisible tracks.

We'll leave him there for now, tracking Hobbits. Next week we'll pick back up with all the exciting happenings in Fangorn Forest as well as catching up with Frodo and Sam as they follow Gollum's lead.

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