I had this romantic notion of writing letters to you as you grew and developed; something that you would be embarrassed about in your youth but as you got older you would secretly be pleased about and would look back on fondly when I wasn't around anymore; something that would help you to see just how loved and wanted you were right from your very first day of life.
I'm sorry you'll never get to read these letters.
I'm sorry I won't get to see the person you will become in eighteen years, or eighteen months, or eighteen weeks. I'm sorry if I did anything that hurt you or made you not want to stick around. I'm sorry that my body has failed you, that I couldn't do more for you while you were (briefly) in my care.
I hope that for the short time you were with us you knew how loved and wanted you were. You were perfect. You were beautiful.
I wish I could've had a picture of you but I will always remember what you looked like, magnified hundreds of times on that screen.
I'm sorry that you won't get to be my firstborn, but you will always be my first embryo; the first life that I held in my womb, even if it was only for a very short time.
You will always be special and you will always be in my heart.
Sleep tight little 5BB,
Love your (almost) Mummy.