Monday, 4 April 2016

'Let Me Go' - An Ode to Leaving Vodafone

I've been trying to come up with a way of sharing our ongoing issues with Vodafone (our mobile phone provider) and I have decided that the best way of doing this is through the medium of song. Specifically, a butchered version of a Frozen song.

I've already been over the whole story multiple times with Vodafone (read: every time they transfer you to someone else you have to go through the whole damn issue all over again) and I have neither the energy nor the inclination to post all that here. The incredibly short potted version is that I missed an important voicemail from the hospital regarding my upcoming Frozen Embryo Transfer; this was the final straw (especially as we were still waiting for the manager call we had been promised five weeks ago).

And as complaining has gotten me nowhere, I got creative. Play the video below and then follow along with my new lyrics.

'Let Me Go' - An Ode to Leaving Vodafone

(Frozen is Disney's Intellectual Property; the phone service cock ups are Vodafone's Intellectual Property)

The screen glows bright on my Samsung tonight
Not a message to be seen.
No word of communication?
Well, Vodafone is the queen. 
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
Couldn't get out now, heaven knows I've tried.

Don't try to ring,
Just let them be.
You're tied into the contract now, you see.
Conceal, don't feel,
Don't let them know.
Well now they know.

Let me go, let me go. 
Can't handle it any more.
Let me go, let me go.
Turn away and slam the door.

They don't care
What I'm trying to say
Let the storm rage on,
Service never bothered them anyway.

It's funny how some missed calls
Makes everything seem huge
And live chats just won't console you
'Cos staff are really rude!

It's time to see what they can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong,
I'll switch to Three
And be free!

Let me go, let me go
I'm so tired of all their lies
Let me go, let me go
Vodafone hear me cry!

Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on!

My fury flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back,
'Cos Vodafone is crap!

Let me go, let me go 
And I'll switch at the break of dawn
Let me go, let me go 
Another contract gone!

Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
Service never bothered them anyway!

Since writing this I have heard back from the Vodafone Network Team who have advised me that the best solution to the problem is to get a cheap Pay As You Go phone on another network; that's how much faith they have in their service.


  1. Oh Click - here I am laughing at your wonderful, creative rage - brilliant lyrics - but knowing how awful all of this must actually be for you to get you worked up so much. Here's to hoping you find a solution so you don't miss another important call and possibly for your lyrics going viral and Vodaphone seeing the error of their ways!!!!

    1. Thank you. I was rather proud of them (and I'm working on a sequel, set to the tune of 'Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?') I did post it on Vodafone's Facebook page, but strangely they didn't comment on it.

      And I'm still waiting for a response to my letter and email. *sigh*

  2. Yikes, what a nightmare. Seems like that's all "customer service" is nowadays.

    1. Yeah, it's shocking. And reading comments from people online, sadly we're not the only ones Vodafone treats this way.

  3. Have to say, was just scrolling through your blog and this Ode to Vodafone made me chuckle. I'm lucky in that they're actually the best network in Norwich for signal (I can get signal pretty much anywhere in Norfolk, actually, aside from at my desk at home!) But I appreciate what you're going through because I went through the same thing with Three, although I didn't have quite as many important phone calls as you.

    Hope you get it sorted, it's absolutely crazy that you're still waiting for a bloody manager! Have you reported them to OfCom?

    1. We're waiting for yet another call back from the complaints department now. We got a manager call back at the beginning of the week which didn't really get us anywhere (again).

      On Friday someone from the Complaints Team called and told us that there is no network fault in the area (the opposite of what the Network Team told us when they suggested we get a pay as you go phone with another network). We were offered £10 as compensation and he threatened to reverse the month's credit we had been given at Easter when we started kicking up a fuss.

      Needless to say we turned him down and we're waiting for yet another call back. I'll probably have completed treatment, got pregnant, and had a baby by the time we get this sorted!


Let me know what you think. :-)