That's right. I have no idea what I'm getting myself in to.
That's not to say I'm going in blind. People I know seem to fall into one of several groups:
- They've read it and love it.
- They've read it and hate it.
- They've not read the books, but they've seen the films and love them.
- They've not read the books, but they've seen the films and hate them.
- They've not read the books and haven't seen the films and couldn't care less.
I'd class myself as one of the latter group. Until now.
So let's run through what I know about this book series:
- It has sparkly vampires in it.
- One of them is called Edward Cullen.
- He's played by the guy who plays Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter films.
- The main character is called Bella.
- She and Edward have a relationship which lots of people criticise for being a bad example of what a relationship should be like.
- There's someone called Jacob.
- Some people prefer him to Edward.
- Bella and Edward wind up having a daughter with the god awful name, Renesme.
- Uh... that's about it.
- Yup, I've got nothing else.
- Oh! Wait! I thought of something! Fifty Shades of Grey started out as a Twilight fanfic, until it was pulled, rewritten and published as the book everyone loves (or loves to hate, or hasn't actually bothered to read).
- Okay, yeah, now that's everything.
I realise that most of these points probably don't actually relate to Twilight. I did get some thoughts from looking at the cover:
- The 'l' in Twilight on the cover looks vaguely phallic. Perhaps that's just me...
- The apple and the white hands makes me think of the story of Snow White. If I knew nothing about this book I'd be expecting clever fairy tale allusions. Knowing what I know about this book, I'm expecting nothing.
The back cover has the following quote:
About three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
Which is all kinds of cheesy.
Other notable points from the back cover include:
- Edward Cullen is described as 'mysterious' and 'alluring'. No mention is made of his sparkly skin (it's like 'porcelain') but he does have golden eyes. That's just weird.
- Edward is also 'impenetrable' which I guess makes sense if he's made of sparkly porcelain.
- Bella sounds like a troublemaker who is obsessed with uncovering his 'dark secret'.
- This book is an 'extraordinary love story' which doesn't exactly gel which what some people have told me.
- And it'll stay with me after I turn the final page, though apparently not so much for the book's previous owner, considering I picked this up in a charity shop.
Right then. It's time to get this show on the road. At the moment I'm aiming to do a chapter a week. I might bump that up to two a week once I get started and work out how long it'll take me a to read a chapter.