Chapter-by-Chapter: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

I've been quite looking forward to this moment, in a weird sort of way. I've actually been preparing for it for a year now. I'm about to start reading Stephenie Meyer's Twilight.

When I did the Chapter-by-Chapter thing for A Series of Unfortunate Events it was a series of books that I'd read before, though as I worked through it I realised that there was a lot I'd forgotten. When it comes to Stephenie Meyer's books, they're all brand new.

That's right. I have no idea what I'm getting myself in to.

That's not to say I'm going in blind. People I know seem to fall into one of several groups:

• They've read it and love it. 
• They've read it and hate it. 
• They've not read the books, but they've seen the films and love them. 
• They've not read the books, but they've seen the films and hate them. 
• They've not read the books and haven't seen the films and couldn't care less.

I'd class myself as one of the latter group. Until now.

So let's run through what I know about this book series:

• It has sparkly vampires in it. 
• One of them is called Edward Cullen. 
• He's played by the guy who plays Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter films. 
• The main character is called Bella. 
• She and Edward have a relationship which lots of people criticise for being a bad example of what a relationship should be like. 
• There's someone called Jacob.
• Some people prefer him to Edward.
• Bella and Edward wind up having a daughter with the god awful name, Renesme. 
• Uh... that's about it. 
• Yup, I've got nothing else. 
• Oh! Wait! I thought of something! Fifty Shades of Grey started out as a Twilight fanfic, until it was pulled, rewritten and published as the book everyone loves (or loves to hate, or hasn't actually bothered to read). 
• Okay, yeah, now that's everything.

I realise that most of these points probably don't actually relate to Twilight. I did get some thoughts from looking at the cover:

• The 'l' in Twilight on the cover looks vaguely phallic. Perhaps that's just me... 
• The apple and the white hands makes me think of the story of Snow White. If I knew nothing about this book I'd be expecting clever fairy tale allusions. Knowing what I know about this book, I'm expecting nothing.

The back cover has the following quote:

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Which is all kinds of cheesy.

Other notable points from the back cover include:

• Edward Cullen is described as 'mysterious' and 'alluring'. No mention is made of his sparkly skin (it's like 'porcelain') but he does have golden eyes. That's just weird. 
• Edward is also 'impenetrable' which I guess makes sense if he's made of sparkly porcelain. 
• Bella sounds like a troublemaker who is obsessed with uncovering his 'dark secret'. 
• This book is an 'extraordinary love story' which doesn't exactly gel which what some people have told me. 
• And it'll stay with me after I turn the final page, though apparently not so much for the book's previous owner, considering I picked this up in a charity shop.

Right then. It's time to get this show on the road. At the moment I'm aiming to do a chapter a week. I might bump that up to two a week once I get started and work out how long it'll take me a to read a chapter.