Thursday 30 March 2017

How We Celebrate Mother's Day?

Mother's Day is a tricky day for people who are dealing with infertility. I'm sure that the male half of infertile couples struggles with the same sort of emotions on Father's Day, but Mother's Day seems like a bigger deal, somehow.

You only have to log onto Facebook to see photos of people sharing lovely messages about their own mums or their kids and it can't help but remind you of that slightly inadequate feeling. The feeling that everyone you know is a member of this club that you can't yet belong to.

Of course, we celebrated our own Mothers on Mother's Day. Mr Click and I procured cards and gifts (which I think went down pretty well). We hung out with Mr Click's Mum (and had a lovely dinner) and I called my Mum to say hi. It was a nice day.

But it's a little hard not to acknowledge that weird empty feeling the day can make you feel as well.

Mother's Day is around the time that 5BB would have been born, had it stuck. This year would've been my first Mother's Day as a Mum if we hadn't lost our twins, Olaf and Elsa. They would've been eight months old by now and even if they're not here, they were ever so briefly, so they should count, right?

We've also got nine potential babies on ice, we're gearing up to thaw one of those out but it's not been done yet. So I'm in a strange sort of limbo of Not-Mum but Almost-Mum.

Luckily my family know and love and understand how this might be a bit of a tricky day for me and so we celebrated in our own little way.

Mr Click ordered me my new Kindle. I had a Kindle already but it was getting a little geriatric and forgetful so a new one was very much appreciated. We'd hoped it would be here for Sunday, it didn't arrive until the next day, but I knew it was on the way.

My Mum sent me a lovely card:


And included a most appropriate gift:


'What do you give a mum who keeps her children in the freezer?'

Why, an ice pack of course!

So it was only natural that after lunch we went out for a suitably frozen embryo mum appropriate snack:


It was a good day.

8 comments:

  1. Your mum is very thoughtful :)
    Not having children of my own, I find Mother's Day and the TV advertising leading up to it, extremely irritating day... While I make sure to send pressies to my mother and mother in law, I feel somehow a little less womanly on that day. I keep telling my other half that I'm the mother of this house, but he's not buying that lol I hope all your dreams come true :)

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  2. I love the card your mom sent. Ice cream is always a welcome treat.

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    1. Yes, it's perfect. She's got a great eye for these things. And you can't say no to ice cream. ;-)

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  3. Cait, saying prayers the next implant (is that what you even call it?) takes you full-term, delivery a sweet little bundle. I can't even imagine the struggles of this whole process! God bless you! 😘

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    1. Thank you. :-) And technically it's a transfer, but implantation is the ultimate goal so feel free to say prayer for that too. ;-)

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  4. I love this post. I can tell you put a lot into this and opened your world to others. It's sometimes easy to forget about mothers' whose babies are not with them. I am glad you still had a nice day overall and celebrated in your own way. You deserve all the best. Thank you for sharing <3

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    1. Thank you. :-) It can be a tough day. I know my Facebook feed was filled with posts from the IVF support groups I'm in, and I won't deny, I had a little wobble myself at one point. But it was good to celebrate it in our own little way (and hopefully very soon we'll be celebrating it with sticky cards and badly made bowls of cereal). ;-)

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  5. What a great mom you have - no doubt you will be a terrific mother as well :)

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Let me know what you think. :-)