#atozchallenge Letters to my Embryos: N is for Numbers

Welcome to Day 14 of the A to Z Challenge, an April blogging challenge where you aim post every day during the month following the letters of the alphabet (with every Sunday bar the last one off).

In the past I've used the challenge to blog about my infertility and the IVF process. I'm following a similar theme this year as we wait to begin the process for a Frozen Embryo Transfer, having completed a Freeze All IVF cycle in February.

We currently have nine embryos sitting on ice, my little bubbles, and this April I am blogging to them about the process of how they came to be.

Dear Bubbles,

Although I am writing these letters to you as individuals, at the time of writing them I could only imagine you as a group. That's why I address them to 'Bubbles', I can't really think of you in the singular and I'm optimistic that perhaps one or more of you might get to read these letters some day.

Right now, in April 2017, there are nine of you. This year nine became one of my favourite numbers.

Numbers became very important to me in the February when you were conceived. At each hospital appointment I found my head swimming with figures which told us how well the various aspects of treatment were (or weren't going).

Those numbers were like a score sheet and I couldn't help but compare them to our previous cycle to predict the likelihood of this being the cycle which would finally bring you into our lives. Our last cycle had produced seven embryos, of which four became blastocysts, but none became our 'take home babies'. If the two which had briefly stuck had held on, you never would have been here. We never would have gone into the round which produced you.

When we learned we had ten embryos I never imagined that nine of you would make it to the coveted blastocyst stage. In terms of numbers, that's 90% of you. To put that in perspective, I was hoping that 50% would make it.

I know that in the months to come, in 2017, there are going to be a whole lot more numbers which shape the future for our family. How many of you nine will survive the thaw? How many will we transfer? How many times will we do this?

And perhaps the most important question of all, how many of you will read this?

Just another one of the many things I'm looking forward to finding out.

All my love,

Your Mum.