#atozchallenge - Understanding

When I made my original list of topics that I’ve been working through over the last few weeks I put the word ‘Uncertainty’ against the letter U, but by about the end of the first week of the challenge I’d kind of changed my mind about what I wanted to say here. I mean, most of my posts have kind of been about the sort of state of limbo I’m in right now with regards to having a family, I didn’t see that there was much point in pressing the matter.

But actually doing the challenge gave me an idea for a different sort of U post, one about understanding. A couple of people have mentioned that it’s been brave of me to pick infertility as a topic to write about during this month and at the time I chose it I didn’t think that was the case, but now I can kind of see where they were coming from with that. It has been hard to write several of these posts, I’m not the sort of person who normally says these things to other people, so I’m beginning to agree. There have been a few that I’ve written and not looked at since because they were so difficult to articulate and others that I put off writing for as long as I could just because I’d sort of changed my mind about this theme and didn’t want to share anymore.

I think it’s been harder to write because it is something that’s so personal and I do hope that maybe someone will find this blog who’s been going through all the same things as me, and maybe these posts will provide some sort of comfort to them because it feels so good to know that someone else understands what you’re going through. I’ve had so many lovely comments, sharing own experiences, sympathising and just letting me know that they’ve stopped by, that it feels really nice.

There will always be people who don’t understand a situation. People who can’t understand why I’m pushing to go private instead of just chilling and getting it all taken care of on the NHS; people who suggest we give it up and just adopt as if that’s an easier process to go through physically and emotionally; people who tell you you’re young and that there’s plenty of time for children in the future. I think I’m coming to accept that there will always be people in the world who will say things like that, and they’re probably saying them for all the right reasons; they mean relax, stop worrying, let things happen.

Maybe I’m just feeling a bit soppy because the challenge is nearly at an end and I think I’m really going to miss it, but I kind of hope that maybe people who have read some of these posts have a better understanding of how I feel about this journey. And I’ve felt quite warm and fuzzy at the level of understanding I’ve had back at me in the comments.